INTERIOR OF PLUSH HOTEL MEETING ROOM. DAY.
NURSES and MEDICAL PERSONNEL help a fuzzy-minded MALE geriatric gaggle find the conference table. NURSES affix Post-It notes to the 13 MEN’S wrinkled foreheads reminding them who they are and why they’re here.
“The New York Yankees get my vote.”
“This is about football, Sir. Not baseball.”
“Heads up, guys. The nation depends
on us to make the right decision.”
“Yes, it’s about national security.
We should nuke North Korea.”
“This is about football, Sir. Not North Korea.”
“I agree with Number 2. Let’s support
this tax bill.”
“This is about football, Sir. Not the Congress.”
HOTEL STAFF exchanges worried looks.
“Gentlemen, we have to pick
“I like Betty. Is she your nurse?
She’s a looker.”
“That’s inappropriate, Sir.”
COMMITTEE MEMBER-6 wearing earphones and listening to country music
“I remember something about
COMMITTEE MEMBER-7 tuned to the same music.
“Yes, that rings a bell.
Alabama and someone else.”
HOTEL STAFF passes note to the NURSES
NURSE reads note and whispers
“You are supposed to vote for Clemson, Sir.”
“Is that a girl’s name?”
Frustrated NURSE whispers
“Just say Clemson, Sir.”
“Is this a joke?”
“Ok, we have Clemson.
Is there another name?”
NURSE looks at hotel note and whispers
“I vote for Oklahoma.”
“My nurse votes for Oklahoma.”
HOTEL STAFF groans and orders drinks from the bar.
COMMITTEE MEMBER-9 turns to nurse.
“That’s a funny name, Oklahoma.”
NURSE rolls her eyes, looks at the hotel note
“Uh…my name is Georgia, Sir.”
HOTEL STAFF tries to stifle laugh
COMMITTEE MEMBER-10 smiles
“I like you, Georgia.”
“I like, Georgia, too”
COMMITTEE MEMBER-12 counting his pills
“What are these names here?
HOTEL STAFF swallows extra-strength pain medicine.
“My nurse says Oklahoma, Clemson, Georgia, Alabama and…and…(DOZES OFF TO SLEEP)
“What about the Yankees?”
COMMITTEE MEMBER-6 smiles at his nurse.
“I still like, Betty.”
NURSE turns to other MEDICAL PERSONNEL
“I think we’re done here.”
MEDICAL STAFF wheels 13 male geriatric gaggle out of the room.
“Is this really how these….uh…guys choose the final football four every year?
“Yup, that’s it. They hear only Alabama Sunset on their
earphones and repeat the name. No thinking required.
“This just in the Selection Committee
has announced the four teams
that will play for the national championship.
The are Clemson, Oklahoma, Georgia…
“I think these are the most deserving teams.
The committee once against demonstrated
its wisdom of placing Alabama in the
WIDESHOT INTERIOR OF HOTEL MEETING ROOM
MUSIC: Alabama Sundown by Dolly Parton
FADE TO BLACK AND MUSIC DOWN UNDER