Home » Uncategorized » Gentlemen, we have a PR problem

Gentlemen, we have a PR problem

MUSIC: UPBEAT SPORTS THEME

INTERIOR WS OF LARGE CONFERENCE ROOM

PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYERS STANDING BEHIND THEIR COACHES SEATED ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF LONG CONFERENCE TABLE

PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL LEAGE COMMISSIONER SEATED AT HEAD OF TABLE

CAMERA ZOOMS INTO THREE SHOT OF COMMISSIONER AND TWO COACHES.

MUSIC FADES UNDER

 

COMMISSIONER OF AMERICAN BASKETBALL CONFERENCE (ABC)

“Gentlemen we have a problem.”

 

COACH OF BAY SIDE BRAVADOS

“No problem, commissioner. We’re trading him after we win

the championship tomorrow night.”

(STANDS UP)

 

COACH OF CUYAHOGA RIVER FIRE

“It’s about time you get rid of the Mean Queen.

Why don’t kick his curb before you all come

back to Cleveland where we’ll win it all.”

(STAND AND POINTS FINGER)

 

COMMISSIONER

“Sit down! Our problem is more serious than that.

We’re a PR disaster. Look at this.”

(TURNS ON VIDEOTAPE)

 

VIDEO OF NATIONAL ANTHEM AT LAST GAME

 

COMMISSIONER

“That’s pathetic. Just an utter embarrassment!”

 

CUYAHOGA COACH

“OK, she hit a few bad notes,

but I think you’re too harsh on the sister.”

 

COMMISSIONER

“No, not the performance!

You guys are just standing there…not singing!”

 

BAY SIDE COACH

“What! You want us to sing the…what’s it called again?”CUYAHOGA COACH

“The Star Bangled Banner dude!”

 

COMMISSIONER

“Our National Anthem. Yes, you guys don’t sing it!

Watch this.”

COMMISSIONER PLAYS VIDEO OF U.S. WOMEN’S SOCCER TEAM AT WORLD CUP  SINGING NATIONAL ANTHEM

 

BAY SIDE COACH

“Well, they’re women so it’s okay if they…”

 

CUYAHOGA COACH

“And their coach wasn’t singing…”

 

BAY SIDE COACH

“She was a foreigner. Didn’t know the words.”

 

CUYAHOGA COACH

“Maybe your team should hire a foreign coach…”

(COACHES STAND STARTING TRASH TALKING)

 

COMMISSIONER

“Stop it, calm down! You’re missing the point!

You look unpatriotic, un-American

And the whole world is watching us.”

 

COMMISSIONER TURNS TO FOUR YOUNG ASSISTANTS

 

COMMISSIONER

“Aliyah, José, Yoko and Bill, please give the players

the sheet music.”

 

YOUNG ASSISTANTS APPROACH PLAYERS AND START SHOOTING SELFIES

 

COMMISSIONER

“The sheet music! Stop with the selfies!

Hand out the song lyrics!”

 

ONE BAY SIDE PLAYER

“Coach, is the game plan for Monday?”

 

ONE CUYAHOGA PLAYER

“Yeah, like where are the Xs and Os, bro?”

 

BAY SIDE COACH

“Whoa, dude…uh…commissioner. You want us to memorize

all these words and sing them by tomorrow night?”

 

COMMISSIONER

“Yes, we have to show America and the rest of the world

that we’re proud to be here and we are patriotic.

 

BAY SIDE COACH

“Wow, I’m not sure we can get this done by tomorrow.”

 

CUYAHOGA COACH

“Since we’re sweeping the next three games,

you’ll have plenty of time to learn the words

and maybe even the notes.”

 

CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO WIDE SHOT

COACHES STAND AND RESUME TRASH TALKING. COMMISSIONER SHAKES HIS HEAD.

ASSISTANTS TAKE MORE CELLPHONE PICTURES, VIDEO, BEGIN TEXTING AND POSTING ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

MEDIUM SHOT OF ASSISTANTS

JOSE

“Man, this is going to be big!”

 

ALIYAH

“Dude, we’re going viral with this!”

 

YOKO AND JOSÉ

“Wow, look at these hits already…”

 

CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO WIDE SHOT

UPBEAT SPORTS THEME UP FULL

FADE TO BLACK

MUSIC FADES OUT

“To be continued…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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