“Home for the Holidays” music playing on the jukebox
“Happy Black Friday, boys,” greets waitress Beverly at our table. “I hope you got up early today for the biggest shopping day of the year.”
“It’s black all right. This day couldn’t get any darker,” grumbles John as he drops a yellow notepad on the table and yawns. “My electronic greeting card company changed its security protocol and now I can’t use it.”
“It probably was hacked by the Russians,” I suggest.
“Or the Chinese,” adds Beverly. “This is the age of globalization and everyone has skin in the game.”
“Speaking of globalization,” I comment, “what’s your holiday coffee special today?”
“Oh lay…it on me, mama,” John Jokes. “I need all the caffeine I can drink in order to recreate my holiday list now that my greeting company is bust.”
“You have no idea how long, John,” I caution.
“Uh…ok….not so fast,” John writes rapidly.
“Muslims celebrate The Prophets Day and Christians celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12,” I chant solemnly. “Non-denominationals and pilots can look forward to National Guard Birthday, Pan American Aviation Day and Wright Brothers Day.
“Ouch, I’m getting a hand cramp,” John complains.
“Of course, the December Solstice or the shortest day of the year is December 21,” I hasten.
“I wish this list were shorter,” moans John.
“Do you spell that with a C, H, or a K,?” ponders John.
“Yes,” I smile.
“The military dates seem appropriate given our last presidential campaign battles,” John tries to scribble quickly.
“And, of course, the big one. Inauguration Day on the 20th,” Beverly salutes.
“Do I send congratulations on condolences?” John inquires.
“Both seem appropriate this time around,” Beverly cautions.
“Did you mark down Kansas Day on the 28th?” I state.
“Kansas?” John and Beverly look at each other.
“Turning the page, February first is National Freedom Day,” I say patriotically.
“Whoa, slow down, I think I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome,” John rubs his wrist.
“Which one,” I wonder. “Murray or the Groundhog?”
“Moving on, remember National Wear Red Day is February third,” Beverly comments fashionably.
“The Republicans will be happy about that,” John replies colorfully. “Is there a National Wear Blue Day, too, for the Democrats?”
“That was Inauguration Day,” I pontificate. “Certainly a blue day for many.”
“Another round, boys,” Beverly refills our cups.
“Please, I can’t take any more,” John complains.
“Too much espresso?” Beverly spouts.
“No, no. Too many dates. My writing hand has gone to sleep. This is way too long..too long…”
“Home for the Holidays” continues on the jukebox
To be continued…