“Home for the Holidays” music playing on the jukebox
“Happy Black Friday, boys,” greets waitress Beverly at our table. “I hope you got up early today for the biggest shopping day of the year.”
“It’s black all right. This day couldn’t get any darker,” grumbles John as he drops a yellow notepad on the table and yawns. “My electronic greeting card company changed its security protocol and now I can’t use it.”
“It probably was hacked by the Russians,” I suggest.
“Or the Chinese,” adds Beverly. “This is the age of globalization and everyone has skin in the game.”
“Speaking of globalization,” I comment, “what’s your holiday coffee special today?”
“Las Chicas del Café Nicaragua Espresso del Patron,” pronounces Beverly with a Spanish accent, clicks her heels and arches her free arm in a Paso Doble style. “Olé!
“Oh lay…it on me, mama,” John Jokes. “I need all the caffeine I can drink in order to recreate my holiday list now that my greeting company is bust.”
“You have no idea how long, John,” I caution.
Exactamundo,” exclaims Beverly sitting at our table. “Besides Black Friday today you have Lincoln’s Birthday celebrated in several states and Native American Heritage Day.
“November ends with the First Sunday of Advent and Cyber Monday,” I add.
“The first week of next month is busy, too, with St. Nicholas Day, Pearl Harbor and the Immaculate Conception,” Beverly observes.
“Uh…ok….not so fast,” John writes rapidly.
“Muslims celebrate The Prophets Day and Christians celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12,” I chant solemnly. “Non-denominationals and pilots can look forward to National Guard Birthday, Pan American Aviation Day and Wright Brothers Day.
“Ouch, I’m getting a hand cramp,” John complains.
“Of course, the December Solstice or the shortest day of the year is December 21,” I hasten.
“I wish this list were shorter,” moans John.
“And there’s no shortage of Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanzaa days the last week of December.” Beverly refills our espresso.
“Do you spell that with a C, H, or a K,?” ponders John.
“Yes,” I smile.
“Now in January,” Beverly begins with another jolt of espresso for us, “we have New Years and lots of religious holidays and Civil War memories.”
“The military dates seem appropriate given our last presidential campaign battles,” John tries to scribble quickly.
“Robert E. Lee and Martin Luther King, Jr. have birthdays in mid-January,” I say civilly.
“And, of course, the big one. Inauguration Day on the 20th,” Beverly salutes.
“Do I send congratulations on condolences?” John inquires.
“Both seem appropriate this time around,” Beverly cautions.
“Did you mark down Kansas Day on the 28th?” I state.
“Kansas?” John and Beverly look at each other.
“Turning the page, February first is National Freedom Day,” I say patriotically.
“Whoa, slow down, I think I’m getting carpal tunnel syndrome,” John rubs his wrist.
“Oh, and I love Groundhog Day,” Beverly muses dreamily, “and Bill Murray. He’s so cute.”
“Which one,” I wonder. “Murray or the Groundhog?”
“Moving on, remember National Wear Red Day is February third,” Beverly comments fashionably.
“The Republicans will be happy about that,” John replies colorfully. “Is there a National Wear Blue Day, too, for the Democrats?”
“That was Inauguration Day,” I pontificate. “Certainly a blue day for many.”
“Another round, boys,” Beverly refills our cups.
“Please, I can’t take any more,” John complains.
“Too much espresso?” Beverly spouts.
“No, no. Too many dates. My writing hand has gone to sleep. This is way too long..too long…”
“Home for the Holidays” continues on the jukebox
To be continued…