Home » Uncategorized » Kaffeeklatsch: My, my, Melania

Kaffeeklatsch: My, my, Melania

Bom dia, homens,” says our waitress Beverly cheerfully as she sways slowly to a Brazilian samba playing in the background.  “Welcome to our Olympic week including all Brazilian coffees. Here, taste this rich cafezinho.”

“As long as it isn’t from Slovenia,” grumbles John.

“Whoa, why the long face” I ask.

“Originally I was going to vote for Donald Trump. But now. No way, Jose!  I’m with her…Hillary Clinton,” John enlightens.

“They pronounce Jose with a “J” sound in Portuguese in Brazil,” Beverly corrects as she sits down at our table. “But what changed your mind?”

“Melania’s immigration scandal is what!” John chugs his cafezinho. “This scandal ranks right up there with Watergate, the Panama Papers and the NSA surveillance of Americans!”

“Oh, you mean whether Melania came to the U.S. in 1995 or 1996,” Beverly smiles as she continues to sway to the samba.

“This revelation shows the truth about Melania and seals the deal for me,” asserts John.

“Well, the nude photographs that accompanied the first report certainly were revealing,” I smile as I savor the perfect cafezinho bitter-sweet balance.

“I mean this is a shocker, people! The Washington Post bares all this morning about Melania’s legal status here,” John shakes his head.

Mother Jones says Melania’s claims and her work history are different,” Beverly closes her eyes listening to the music.  “Mother Jones?   Is that who’s singing on the juke box,” John taps his cafezinho cup.

“No, that’s Brazilian singer Marisa Monte.  Mother Jones is the news magazine,” I explain.

“See, the news media are all over this Melania story,”John sips his cafezinho gracefully. Politico says Melania’s history doesn’t add up. And CNN is asking whether she got special treatment.”

“The pictures I saw certainly treated her well,” I begin to sway to the music.”

“You men never quit,” Beverly chuckles.”

“I mean if all the major news organizations are reporting this…like…the Los Angeles Times,  CBS News, and NBC  you know this is really, really important,” John begins to move with the music.

“I’m not sure you can rely very much on news editorial decisions these days,” I smile.

“Concordo (I agree),” murmurs Beverly.

“I no longer am bothered by Hillary’s decision to ignore State Department rules and use her own personal server for email when she was Secretary of State,” John channels Bernie Sanders.

“But what about the State Department’s Inspector General’s report that Hillary violated the department’s rules,”I ask melodically.

“Nope, that’s a non issue for me. I have to vote for Hillary because I couldn’t trust Melania as First Lady to tell the truth about the White House place settings,” John imagines.

“I can certainly picture her,” I begin to sing.

“The FBI director said Clinton was negligent and most other government employees would (HAND QUOTES IN SAMBA DANCE) ‘face consequences for this,’”hums Beverly.

“Not important. She wasn’t indicted,” John begins to tap his feet. “What’s really serious is how can we trust Melania Trump with our children  if she wants to teach young people how to parade the cat walk for exercise?”

“But what about the Clinton Foundation questions, mate. Foreign leaders donated to the Foundation while Hillary was still Secretary of State,” I rhyme.

“Yep, it was the Clinton’s usual (HAND QUOTES) ‘Pay to Play,’… “politics for influence they continue today,” Beverly joins the rhyme

“And what were rich guest playing in the Lincoln Bedroom…where they got to sleep in exchange for donations to the Clinton boardroom,” I sing.

“But Melanie didn’t write her own speech,” John hums with little conviction.

“Yo, the Benghazi disaster during Clinton’s tenure was pretty serious. And Melania’s speech makes you delirious?” Beverly stands up to dance.

“Well, uh…uh…I’m still with her…I think…or maybe not…uh…I don’t know ,” sways John. “Maybe you’re right…this campaign is too much of a fight,” John stands up getting his groove.

“Good for you, just let it go,…enjoy the Olympics, go with the flow,” I try a samba move. “Ouch!”

“Drink your cafezinho, take another sip, and when you leave, drop a great big tip,” Beverly urges as she and  John begin to dance.

RADIO IN BACKGROUND: “This just in. A spokesperson for Melania Trump says that the former Slovenia model used a body double in photos that allegedly were taken in 1995.  Melania reportedly still was in Europe sewing her own dresses including the one she wore at the GOP convention.”

 “A spokeswoman for Hillary Clinton says that Melania’s fashion sense raises serious questions about her husband’s fitness to be president.”

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